10 Great Lessons You Can Learn From Option B By Sheryl Sandberg

How Option B Is Going To Change Your Life

Option B Summary By

Have you ever felt the pain of losing someone suddenly?

Have you ever felt as if this world had stopped suddenly, and we were left with only their memories!


Sheryl Sandberg, who was previously COO of Facebook and also the writer of this Book, felt it all!


She went on vacation for a few days with her husband David Bruce Goldberg.  He went to Mexico to celebrate his son and daughter at home to grandparents, both of them celebrating a friend's birthday!


"I am sleepy", were the last words Sheryl had said to her before bedtime and before her husband's death!


When she woke up, she saw that her husband was lying on the ground and a lot of blood had flowed from her head.


The people there were calling the doctor to save him and took him to a nearby hospital, but in the end, those words were in Sheryl's ears ... sorry we could not save them!


Her husband, David, had left the world at the age of 47 and left behind two young children!


This accident changed Sheryl's life forever, she could not come out of that grief during the initial few months, she felt an emptiness in her heart, due to which she could not understand anything. She was neither able to breathe with an open heart!


Everything seemed to be dying to him when his family took him into trouble.


Adam Grant, who was a psychologist and a very good friend of Sheryl, also explained to her that this misery can never be forgotten, but we can only try to reduce these things by bringing it flexibility!


We are not born with the power to fall from birth or learn the power to emerge from any misery, but we can bring this power within ourselves!


How much pain we can bear, is not our ability, but how soon we emerge from this sorrow and how soon we overcome it, it is our real ability!


Sheryl and Adam have made this book special so that we know how to fight and show courage!


At the beginning of the book, we will know what things we have to do to live life


We will also talk about how we can support those people who have had such accidents in their lives!


It has also been told in this book, how a man can emerge from such accidents as soon as possible!


In the end, this book will tell us how we can make future generations capable of dealing with such situations!


Option B will not revolve around Sheryl's tragedy but on every person's tragedy.


There will be another way, he will not roam around Sheryl's accident, but it will be for the trouble in every person's life!


Wrong Sentence Translation


The tragic accident that happened with Option B Sheryl is not only about her but also about some tragic incident that has happened to every human being.


Sadness and shock are not always bad, sometimes we use them to move forward in life!


Our life is not just full of flowers and bouquets, if we have lost option A, then we have to prepare ourselves for option B!


Breathing Again


Unfortunate things can happen to any of us, anywhere, and anytime!


After a bad incident happens, it is very difficult to stand up again and emerge from that difficult moment!


When a bad incident happens to us, we feel very sad for some time but we should understand that it is a normal thing!


Times of sorrow is very difficult, but sometimes we make it more difficult for ourselves!


We punish ourselves for things we have never done, and we start giving up hope from them!


Psychologist Martin Seligman discovered 3 things that prevent a person from being normal after such accidents, which are called 3 Ps -


First P Personalization - We start blaming ourselves for some events!


Second P pervasiveness - In which we think that this single incident will have its effect on every aspect of our life!


Third Permanence in which we think that the pain of this accident will remain till the end of our life!


Here is an example of how these three P's affect our grief and how we can get rid of these three P's to learn to live again.


Sheryl gets a call from a woman who was raped, she was a young woman, who was returning from a birthday party.  


When she leaves to go home, she sees that a man working with her was waiting for the cab to go home, so she gives him a lift in his car!


He never imagined that a helping hand would attack him, after a while, the man sitting in the car pulled out a weapon and threatened him, and raped him!


This was a very painful incident for him, which Sheryl also felt very sad to hear!


Sheryl and the woman talked about something similar, sharing their thoughts and feelings, after which they felt a connection with each other!


At the beginning of the phone call, that woman was telling herself how she felt after that accident!


Initially, she was nervous, scared, and angry, but later that woman started thinking of herself as responsible for all those things, and she started thinking that she was guilty of whatever happened to her!


Sheryl calms the woman down and starts convincing her about 3P!


First Sheryl said, stop being so strict with yourself, when anything bad happens to you, it is not because of you, she told the woman not to blame herself why you made her sit in the car because  This was just away which shows how kind you are!  There is no harm in helping anyone!


He then talked about the good events that happened in the woman's life.  Sheryl said that unfortunate incidents or sudden things cannot make every part of our life bad, she still has her family, friends and she is with herself too!


In the end, Sheryl reminds her that an accident will not last her whole life, she is not just a rape victim, but a very good-hearted person who can do something big or amazing in the life to come!


After a few days, the same woman called Sheryl again and said that the case of the accused of that rape is moving forward!


He also told that 3P’s are helping him a lot in moving forward and making him feel good!


We all know that there are some ups and downs in life, if we have to emerge from those things then we have to make ourselves flexible, we will understand this art in some chapters to come!


Before we go ahead, one thing you should learn from this chapter is when life wants to lock you in a glass of glass, then you can break that glass and breathe again!


No situation can bind or stop you because you can rise again, you can make a new beginning again!


Kicking The Elephant Out Of The Room


This line "elephant in the room" shows an issue that everyone knows about, but no one wants to talk about it!


If something unfortunate happens to a person who knows us, then it becomes very difficult for us to ask them directly how they are feeling!


Sheryl also realized this thing in her life.  Initially, she did not understand why people were not caring about her nor were they asking about her husband's death, and no one else even asked how she was getting out of that pain!


Nobody cared about him. These things made his grief heavier!


A few months after her husband's funeral, Sheryl decides to meet her husband's roommate, who is also surrounded by the same sorrow, thinking he might be able to talk to her!


Jeff, who was Dave's roommate, was also diagnosed with liver sclerosis years ago, Sheryl remembers how, Dave used to talk about Jeff's condition, but Sheryl recalls that she Never been interested in knowing about him from the front!


Both of them were having breakfast, then Sheryl asks Jeff some common questions like "How are you" and "How are you feeling now", when Sheryl is shocked by what she sees,  Jeff had tears in his eyes, thanking him for asking these questions again and again!


This shows that ever since he came to know about his illness, till then no one has understood the need to ask him such questions and show his familiarity!


However at breakfast that day, Jeff reveals all his doubts, fears, worries and makes his heart light, which makes him feel good!


When they finished breakfast, Sheryl remembered how she felt the same thing when her husband died, it was as if she was surrounded by friends who did not even ask her a question.  Wanted to know something about life!


Some of her friends used to call her in other cities at their events and ask to speak, without realizing that she was not in that mental condition yet!


Sheryl found some friends in the park who just had to say how nice the weather and days are today for jogging!


It seemed as if what happened to him could not be seen by the rest of the people, it was as if everyone was standing in front of him, but he could not see anything!


Psychologists call it the "Mum Effect".  This happens when we deliberately ignore something uncomfortable for us, people do not feel comfortable telling their things or things to anyone, and they keep bad news away from themselves!


This is why doctors also take time to tell the patient about his illness, due to this reason, the manager also does not tell his employees that they have been fired from the job!


Every time we feel some bad luck, then we feel that no one is standing with us, it seems as if everyone is engaged in advancing themselves in their life and we are just in some way on one side Just trying to live!


The most precious thing we can say to a person who has lost something in his life is to "accept" him. We do not need to avoid that topic, nor do we need to listen to the problem daily but we need to listen to him.  We must recognize pain and struggle, we must give them courage and courage to emerge from such bad times!


Sometimes people think that we need to give them flower-filled words or very insider advice to show their belonging!


However, you should try to do this only by talking clearly and straightforwardly!


Bouncing Forward


Sheryl believed that people could not become what they could not see.


Some women do not take computer science because they have not seen women taking computer science.


Some women do not take the responsibility of leadership because they have not seen any woman become a leader.


However, all these things start to change when humans themselves take the initiative and start changing the old rules and principles!


It was this attitude which Adam Grant also showed to Sheryl that most people are unable to return after an accident in their life because they feel that it is not possible for them and they have not seen this in their life yet!


4 months had passed since the death of Sheryl's husband, Adam wanted to show Sheryl how people move forward in their lives after a shock!


Adam said that 50% of people who have experienced something like a shock in their life later have a positive recovery!


This is when Sheryl realizes that moving forward after the unfortunate thing is better than living a life that has only grief and suffering!


She wanted to strengthen herself and change her life when she read about joe Casper!


Joe Casper was one of Adam's psychology students studying at the University of Pennsylvania, unfortunately, joe's son dies 3 years after discovering his illness.


It was a terrible and painful incident for Joe, but he did not allow himself to be shattered by that accident!


Once in his class, joe learned from Adam what are the forms of a post-shock we call post-traumatic growth in English


Post-traumatic growth is one way that helps a man to recover and live a normal life back!


Joe did not just want to learn these methods but wanted to live. Sheryl also got the courage to see the confidence of joe!


The forms of post-traumatic growth are as follows-


 The first stage is Finding personal strength, that is, recognize your mutual strength, which means accept your shortcomings, but also knowing that you have more courage than you think.


When life brings clouds of sorrow and troubles on us and suddenly some events happen, they sit in our mind as a wound, but after that, we stand up courageously, not only from inside but also from outside.  !


The second stage of post-traumatic growth is gaining appreciation and finding meaning.


A month after Dave's death, Sheryl had a sort of support from a close friend of hers, Kevin Krim!


He was very surprised how Kevin supported him when he knew that he had gone through a shock!


Kevin and his wife Marina had 3 children, a 6-year-old Lulu, a 3-year-old Nessie, and a 2-year-old Leo, after taking a swimming class to their daughter, Nessie when Marina returns to her home to see that her nanny has taken her two  The children, Lulu and Leo, were killed.


Sheryl finds out how Kevin must have felt the grief of his children leaving. She wanted to know how she and her wife exhaled themselves from the moment of grief. 


Kevin explains that losing Lulu and Leo was very painful.  But she is thankful that she has a Marina and a daughter, Nessie!


Marina and Nessie became the reason for her living!


This was the thinking that made Kevin's relationship stronger than his wife, after which he thought about giving birth to another child, which the decision later proved to be fine!


He created a non-profit organization in the name of his children, which was helping children who had no one, they used to teach them creative things!


It shows how Kevin and Marina showed humanity and love to give themselves and their lives a new path after that accident!


He was beginning to understand the new meaning of his life, now he was not only stuck in that event!


The third post is the stage of traumatic growth creating deep relationships.


When you feel a shock then after that it is very difficult to form a close and deep relationship because you see yourself as different from the rest of the world!


For example, after being a victim of sexual abuse and assault, a person loses his hope and faith in people!


However, some shock also helps in building deep relationships!


Like a soldier who has fought a war together but after that war, they become good friends, it is because they start to understand the value of life and share the same experiences with those people!


People who have experienced shock build strong relationships with each other over time, feel good with each other, believe, and become comfortable with each other!


The fourth stage of post-traumatic growth is new possibilities.


It is very difficult to accept the death of a close friend!


However, the name of life has to start again, even your near and dear ones will not be happy if you stop at that aspect and do not live your life again!


The new chapter starts after one chapter.  Adopting an opportunity to come does not mean that whatever is behind, we should forget it.


Sheryl says that Dave will always have a special place in her heart!


Dave's absence had also changed him a lot!


Joe Kasper decided that he would do a master's degree for his son's life!  Kevin and Marina create an organization in memory of Leo and Lulu!


It is not necessary how painful or difficult an event is, we can always move forward, we can always learn to live again, not for ourselves but for the people who are around us!


We can rise again after a bad shock!


Raising Resilient Kids


Flexibility is not what comes with birth.  These are a process of whole life which we learn slowly on our ability and to overcome the ups and downs of life!


We all know that there is not always happiness and peace in life, sometimes we find ourselves in a place where we are looking for away!


Therefore, we should help make the next generation of children flexible!


So that at an early age you will learn how to solve small and big problems, so that we can have happiness, success and good health in future.


One of Sheryl's friends knew how much she needed to teach her son flexibility!


He knew how the environment in which his child is living, how it will affect his child, how he will handle the problem in the future!


To bring flexibility to a young child, we must first develop its values ​​and beliefs!  First to think that they have full rights to their lives! The second is to teach them how to learn from defeat and failure!


Third, teach them how to recognize the real value as their person!


Finally, to think that there is real courage in him that can help him and others!


Here is an example of how Timothy achieved success by learning the flexibility that his father taught!


Timothy Chambers is a painter with 30 years of work experience and has received awards for his work!


However, his childhood was slightly different and the road to success was not easy!


Timothy was 70% deaf and suffering from a disease called Legally Blind, in which if the team focuses on your eyes, then they will be able to see only the place they focused on, apart from that they will not be able to see anything else!  Can't even see your mouth!


When he was young, he needed a hearing machine to listen. Tim has always been upset because other children used to look strangely towards his ear!


That's why his father tells him that the next time if this happens, you have to press your machine, punch in the air, and shout, yes Kabas 2 to Ek is in the ninth


When Tim started it, the kids were quite surprised and he was also jealous of how the team was able to listen to the games even in boring class!


From that day on, Tim finds out how he is in control of himself, despite having some deficiencies!


Those embarrassing days and moments made him stronger from inside!


The team proved themselves in this world despite their shortcomings and found their existence!


The most important thing is that he recognized his power which helped him to fight all those challenges. His story became an inspiration to others!


His father told him the 4 principles of Flexibility, after which he would start to trust himself!


Timothy Chambers is an example of how flexibility helps to overcome difficulties, showing how stamina is within ourselves, but success is met with courage!


We all have the power to move forward, so stop holding yourself and rise up


Bring flexibility in yourself so that you can help make others flexible.


Conclusion


In this book, we have learned that at some point in life we ​​feel a snag that pulls us down. You have learned that bad things never end, whenever we give up hope from option A, then we see option B  needed!


You learned that no Abu incident could end your story.  Even after that, there are lives for you!


You learned about the 3 p’s which prevent you from moving forward which are personalization, pervasiveness, and permanence.


You learned that you can still come out of a terrible accident and make yourself strong and powerful again!


You have also learned how important it is to teach children flexibility and to teach them the flexibility to get out of the difficulties in life!


The purpose of this book is not just to wipe the tears from your eyes but to teach them to fix everything slowly, this book cannot bring your loved ones back to your life, the purpose of this book is to show you that there is still hope and  You are not alone in this journey, you can breathe again, and be happy again, and live your life.


Accidents are not the end of your story, rather you are made for more than that!

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